The truth about cremation and funerals

Introducing e.Crematory - www.ecrematory.com

 

www.ecrematory.com

Introducing eCrematory – a self guided, no pressure cremation option!

This month’s article is dedicated to introduce a new concept for cremation families in South Western Michigan called eCrematory. eCrematory can be found online at www.eCrematory.com or by calling 1-800-344-4824. My son Brett Wright, owns and operates Phoenix Crematory Services, LLC right here in Muskegon, MI  and he receives calls regularly from people who are looking for alternative cremation options. Alternative can mean anything from avoiding making decisions within a funeral home, wanting an immediate cremation with no services, becoming more hands on or involved in the cremation process, or simply looking to save money. I reality, the “why” people want these options doesn’t matter, it’s the “how” this service can be made legally available.

We are pleased to say when a consumer chooses the cremation path via the eCrematory website or the 800 number it is affordable, legal and most importantly does not compromise the deceased’s dignity or the family’s experience. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions: What’s the catch? You need to get involved. eCrematory gives you all the tools necessary to arrange a legal cremation, including access to the documentation required by the State of  Michigan.    With eCrematory you have complete control over the process; and in fact, you actually complete many tasks (documentation) yourself. We provide you with easy-to-use tools to guide you through the process. The low price of the eCrematory option is a result of your acceptance and willingness to participate. When someone dies, who do I contact first? To take advantage of eCrematory’s affordable pricing, you must contact us first.  I understand that a licensed funeral home must be involved; what are the responsibilities of the funeral home? After you contact authorizations secured. When all the legal authorizations are obtained, the cremation will take place. After the cremation process is complete, the cremated remains will be returned to the designated family member. Simply said – no pressure, just the basics! For more information, please visit the website www.ecrematory.com or call 1-800-344-4824. 

Love, Logic and the Law

The past few nights I’ve had trouble sleeping – I felt like I should have been on one of the Roserum commercials with Abe Lincoln, the Argonaut, and the Beaver! As I was lying there listen to our Corgi Mac snoring, I became inspired to write an article about some very real life situations that most people are not aware of until they find themselves in the middle of it. What happens when a loved one is ill or dies and the individual who has cared for this person for years, is legally unable to carry out their loved ones intentions? In other words – when there are same sex partners, seniors who live together and are not married for reasons that revolve around healthcare, social security or other financial reasons – who legally can act on behalf of the other party?

Here’s is just one example many funeral providers are faced with:  An individual dies, has expressed prior to death they want to be cremated but there is no pre-paid funeral arrangement. The deceased was not married to their partner of 15 years and the partner has no durable power of attorney. The deceased’s parents, siblings are alive, do not like the life partner and do not believe in cremation due to their religious affiliation. The deceased has 4 adult children from previous relationships and trust the life parent to make the right decision. All of the above individuals except the 4 children are sitting with the funeral director attempting to make arrangements. There is no life insurance. The partner will pay if cremation takes place, the parents will pay if burial takes place. Who does the funeral director listen too?

Sound fun? This is not a unique occurrence for funeral providers. What is the ethical thing to do? Who should make the decision? Who would the deceased want to make the decision? Who can legally make the decision?

All of this could have been alleviated if the life partner had a durable power of attorney. That not being the case – the legal answer is the children are considered the next of kin. The law states that the funeral provider must take direction from the next of kin, in this case the children. The children are not at the arrangement conference, so this now be addressed. Once this is solved.  the children must come to a consensus on either cremation or burial. If cremation is preferred legally all children must sign an authorization to cremate their father. The children then must accept payment responsibility or designate a person who will be financially responsible for payment to be received at the time of services rendered.  Not fun huh? Scenarios like this require funeral professionals to make legal decisions, regardless of what love or logic have to do with anything! Please – don’t due this to your family – take care of this ahead of time.   

 

Rumors

Rumors!

When you were a kid, did you ever play the “telephone” game or the “secret” game where you told someone something and it had to be passed to several other people and then you compared the end result to what was originally said?

Those of you who have played this game know what I’m getting too. The majority of the time, facts from the original statement were either left out or embellished, while other crazy things were added on. By the time the last person repeated what they were told, even without their own take on it – 90% of the time, it was incorrect.

 

Why am I talking about this? Because somehow the facts regarding Clock Life Story Funeral Home have been misrepresented. The Clock Family – Wayne, Carolyn, Dale and myself,(along with the rest of the gang) and our entire funeral home family would like to go on record to say Clock Life Story Funeral Home – also known as Clock Funeral Home is independently owned and operated and have no intentions of being anything else. It seems the confusion came about with some of the many transitions we have gone through over the past 24 months. It all started with the addition of 2 simple words(Life Story) to our already known and locally branded name of Clock Funeral Home. Life Story is a philosophy and a behavior that Dale and I believe in to the core. It’s origin is from a group of locally owned and operated funeral homes in southwest

Michigan

who want to make difference in people’s lives, for that fact, the funeral service industry itself. The locally owned funeral home who participate in the Life Story philosophy are in business because a LIFE HAS BEEN LIVED. It’s that simple. We are here to help the family tell that story and help celebrate the loss of a life. That celebration can be through a traditional style funeral, a church service, a cremation, a contemporary service or simply no service and take care of the legalities and let the family conduct the service. We serve all faiths, there are no religious preferences, there is no judgment. We are here to take care of people regardless of faith, income level, race or nationality. In closing – think about this.

Many people go to church. We study and celebrate Jesus’ death. When pastors/priests prepare for their service, it revolves primarily around his life. When friends and family attend a funeral, they are mourning the life lived – death is only one part of that person’s Life Story.

The Blame Game

Each morning on my drive to the funeral home I’m on the lookout for those ever changing an unpredictable gas prices. Depending on the day’s route there are anywhere between 6 &10 gas stations. The prices differ anywhere between 5 & 15 cents. What really gets me are the locations that are across from each other and the price variances are great. The only thing I find consistent is that each week the price declines on Sunday, is at its lowest point on Tuesday and soars up by Thursday. NBC news reports that gas is up overall 40 cents a gallon and rising. We complain about it, we accept but we still keep paying for it.

Do we really take into account how much these prices impact out daily life? There are the obvious factors, driving to work, school, children’s events, etc. At some point these prices will begin to impact overall commodities. People will begin to re-think discretionary spending and consolidate errands, hence impacting small businesses. This includes funeral homes.

Most businesses can bare the brunt of inflation for the short run, but not the long run. Owners will have to incorporate inflated gas expenditures into their pricing and pass it down to the consumer. Why am I on this mantra? If the gas station owners can’t control their own pricing - think about it!

 

Let’s face it, not only is the consumer caught in the middle, so are small businesses. We all are held hostage to something we can only control our frequency of use not the need to use. On some odd level, this is much like the need for a funeral. Factually speaking, we all are going to die. Regrettably, each of us will be faced with choices that we would prefer not to discuss until the need arises. Being an optimist I believe as a consumer, you can do something about this that just makes financial sense. Pre-fund your funeral. Why you may ask? On a purely financial view, it locks in the cost of your burial or cremation at today’s cost - regardless of inflation! Yes, today cremation can be less expensive than traditional burials. In the future, if gas prices continue to rise, that may not be the case. At Clock Life Story Funeral Home, we profit not more or less on your funeral preference – cremation or burial. Our focus is not on the merchandise, it’s on you, your family and those guests who come to support you.

 

How do you want to be remembered? The answers are not far out of reach!

How do you want to be remembered? The answers are not far out of reach!

How do you want to be remembered? Will your family know what to do? Who will pay for it? These are questions you need to ask yourself! Discussing your end of life decisions with your family is not something you should think about, it’s something you should act on – regardless of age. Last I knew, we still have a 100% chance of dying. The unknown is the when or how. If you are mature enough to make decisions regarding marriage, career, education, parenting, finances and medical care, you’ve reached the time where it’s only fair to discuss the inevitable with those. whom you will leave behind! It is unfair to place people you love in a situation that could have been avoided via a simple discussion. Why am I on a soap box about this? More times than not, our directors sit across from people whose loved one’s death was NOT anticipated. Let’s disbar a few myths. Not all babies are born on a full moon cycle and the not all deaths happen after retirement. Not all people have medical, let alone life insurance for their end of life needs. The biggest myth of all is the State of Michigan's Financial aid  (if you qualify) does NOT even cover a funeral home’s ACTUAL COST – regardless of cremation or burial choice. Doesn’t it just make sense to eliminate any guilt, doubt, or financial hardship for your loved ones? Below are a few key questions you should ask yourself. If you know the answer – this is a call to action. If you don’t – please take the time to think it over. Once you have made some decisions, communicate them with someone besides your filing cabinet or your lock box!

If my death occurred today, who would be making my arrangements?

1. If my death occurred today, the money to pay for my funeral would come from?
2. If I died today, what type of unplanned debt would I be leaving behind- could my family recover from it?
3. Does my family clearly know my funeral preference?
4. If my death occurred today, what would I regret most?

 This is not a trick quiz? The answers are not out of reach. The ability to handle this together and not alone is so simple to do! Why procrastinate?

 

 

Impressions

Top five things I try to procrastinate or avoid at all costs: 

1. Going to the Dentist

2. Buying / Selling a House

3. Buying / Selling a Car

4. Needles or Shots

5. Clowns

Okay – laugh, call me a coward, even a wimp, but those are the things (not necessarily in that order) that for whatever reasons I have mentally held on to past experiences and equated them as unpleasant. So please – all you professionals who work in these areas do NOT take it personally.

Last week, my husband Dale and I purchased 3 new vehicles. Two mini vans for the funeral home and one automobile for personal use.Thanks to the internet, consumer reports, TV commercials and just plain observing other automobiles on the road, we had narrowed our choice down to two different brands. That was the easy part – now came the part I fear most – walking through the dealership’s door. I don’t want to be perceived as being rude, but all I wanted to do was take a test drive, understand the features, and most of all NOT haggle on price, just cut to the bottom line. We had a fair price in mind and were willing to spend the money if we felt value. Much to my surprise, both dealerships were a very pleasant experience. Absolutely everyone we came in contact with, were customer friendly and extremely educated in their products. Both clearly explained features, benefits and value with no pressure.

Rats!!! I had hoped one brand would stand out more than the other. Now it came down to all things being equal, which dealership in terms of customer service, willingness to understand our needs and overall long-term expectations and viewed themselves as an reflection of our business, creating a win, win, win. Win for our funeral home families; win for our funeral home with a plan maintenance schedule, and a fair price for the value received.  How does this relate to funerals you might ask? Typically a person makes funeral arrangements as often as they purchase a car. My guess that anything to do with a funeral home is on their top five of things to avoid. All funeral homes have nice facilities, amenities, nice people and are even priced similar. All funeral homes take great pride in caring for the deceased and their family. The differentiating feature and why people choose Clock Life Story Funeral home is we do all of the above AND take care of the guests. We are not here to sell merchandise, we are here to create a funeral experience that is personal, meaningful and relevant – for host families and their guests.

 

  

In a person’s lifetime, millions of moments are experienced –

Our lives are based on a numerous experiences that have helped define who we are. These experiences begin the split second we are born, right up to the time we die. In fact, there are so Life Story™ don’t realize how significant some of these occasions were or the impact they had on others. At Clock Life Story™ Funeral Home, we encourage families to take the time to reflect on these moments, capture the heart of the memories, honor them by helping the family turn those memories into a permanent keepsake that can be pasted on to future generations.

 

A Life Story™ funeral does not revolve around the fact that a life has ended; it focuses on the life that was lived. Each person is unique. Their journeys are different. Their morals, beliefs, areas of interest and heritage when shared paint a colorful picture, which accurately portrays how the deceased touched others while on this earth. A Life Story™ funeral, has no hard and fast “funeral etiquette”. Many times when the public thinks of funerals, they think of the overall expense, having to enter into a casket selection room, having to include religious involvement because that’s what society has done in the past, playing organ music, and being unable to express how they really feel because they are uncomfortable. Many times after the funeral families don’t know the necessary next steps and where to turn for practical advise. The above “norms” or concerns are addressed and removed within the Life Story™ approach.

 

Clock Life Story™ Funeral Homes; have changed the way funerals are planned and conducted. The entire event for the deceased’s family and guests are unlike any past funeral experience. After the funeral, it is not unusual for us to hear comments from people who knew the deceased for years stating that somehow they now feel more connected with that person and have a greater understanding of what that individual stood for.

 

Coming full circle, when its time to tell you or your loved one’s story, the real question becomes, what moment or moments do you want to be remembered for? Through Clock Life Story™ Funeral Homes, we can help you reveal those moments and memories – unlike anywhere else. There is a difference!

 

 

 

Ok, so you want to be cremated - now what do I do?

When a person says they want to be cremated, what do they really mean?  Cremation - I get that. That is the end result for a final dispositon. The individual would prefer to be cremated and not buried.  OK - then what?  Today - many people are electing to not be "buried" and to be cremated.  This in our funeral homes and along the MI Lakeshore where we live is becoming more the norm.  To many of the families we serve, it just is an end disposition.  Families are gathering together at the funeral home, or somewhere else, they are gathering.  Many times families elect to view the body, just like a traditonal service. That's okay too.  This is why it is critical to discuss these topics with your family and friends, to be clear. Once of the greatest gifts a person can do for their family and friends is to pre-arrange and pre-fund their funeral - regardless of disposition preference.  By placing your expressed wished down in writing it not only leaves clear direction for those you leave behind to follow, it elivates the emotional anxiety of wondering. "Did I do the right thing?" Ok - so you want to be cremated - now, clarify - do  you want a visitation, private famliy viewing, do you wish to be placed on an urn? Who keeps the urn? Will the urn be buried? Would you prefer to be scattered? How about  seperate your cremains and share them with several individuals - so, then next time someon says they want to be cremated...ask a few more questions.

There are NO "rights or wrongs"

 

As parents, one of our jobs is to teach our children right from wrong. Some of the things we teach are for safety reasons, like look both ways before you cross the street and always wear your seat belt. Some things are for moral reasons, like the golden rule; Do unto others, as you would have then do unto you. So it’s understandable that when people have to make funeral arrangements they want to do the right thing.  But what I always tell people is; “With funerals, there are no rights or wrongs.” You need to do what is right for you and your family. Society is different today than it was 40 years ago.  We are not bound by the same standards. Suits and ties are no longer expected to be worn in most churches. Women can wear pants and tennis shoes aren’t just for play. Funerals should reflect the life of the person that died. So if he always wore blue jeans, it’s OK to bury him in blue jeans. If she loved big band music, it’s OK to play it at the funeral. And if they were big Michigan Statefans, it’s OK to do everything in Green & White. You can also put almost anything you want in the casket with some one. We have buried people with guitars, golf clubs, an extra set of clothes, carpenter’s tools, a stack of mail order catalogues, the ashes of a beloved pet and the list could go on. All of these things were important to the family and it made them feel good.  At our Funeral Homes we pride ourselves in helping families personalize the funeral services for their loved one. And because we have so much experience we can probably make almost anything happen. So if you want your prized Harley Motorcycle in the front of the chapel for the service or if you need a place for a catered reception, we can do that. If you want 4 color “This Is Your Life” memorial folders or you want a tribute video played at the service we can do that. And we can do all of that in just a matter of days. Most funeral homes don’t have that much experience doing those kinds of things. So don’t hesitate to ask if there is some thing that you want to do at a funeral because there is only one chance. And there are no rights or wrongs.

            

 

 

Changing Times, Changing Traditions

 

During the last month I have been involved in several conversations about how funerals have changed over the last 30 years. Specifically the last 10.  We talked about how the number a people choosing cremation has increased from less than 10% to nearly 40% nationally and in Western MI closer to 50% ( at least for the people that use our funeral home). We talked about how we don’t go in procession to the cemetery as much as we used to. How picture boards and collages are present at nearly every visitation these days and we hardly ever saw them 30 years ago. And the music isn’t always organ music any more as people bring in CD’s of their favorite songs. People are invited to share stories at the service instead of the minister doing all the talking. At our funeral home locations we are trying to embrace the changes that have happened in Funeral Service. Not that we want to abandon the traditions that give many of us the comfort we so desperately need at a time of loss but we seek to blend the old with the new to make meaningful services for everyone. We need your help. We need to know what you the consumer would like. What parts of the traditional services do you like and why? What don’t you like? What have you experienced at another funeral or ceremony that was very meaningful? Do you like formal or informal services? Is viewing the body important to you? Would you like to see video tributes at the service? I invite you to email. I’d love to hear from you because I really want to know “what you would like.” At the end of the day - its about how you want to be remembered and celebrated. NOT about what the funeral home or funeral professionals want you to do. All focuses should be on the celebration of the life lived, not profiting off of selling a casket or other funeral merchandise.